You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
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