I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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