He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
