just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I am one with the molecules
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
