You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
