im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
