Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
