Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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