I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
