Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Randomize
