Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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