i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
