She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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