If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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