I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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