i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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