i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
