He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I smell stomach acid.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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