In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I won't apologize to a one balled man
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
