I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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