Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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