fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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