Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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