And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
