Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
