i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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