I look better un-naked...
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
