Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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