I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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