3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
