You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
