help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
she smelled like a LAN party
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
