You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
