I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
It's rum buckets o'clock
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
