this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
