I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
