On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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