they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize
