We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
