If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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