when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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