At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
and she was petting her beer can
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Randomize
