Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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