We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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