pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
how does that bad decision feel?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
