I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
