Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
