alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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