Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
