but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
