This dress was meant to end up on your floor
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
