My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Randomize
